I have lost count of how many times I have been told to lower my standards. I mean on a daily basis. Not just in dating, in life. Let’s start with what is a standard? Standards are things you set for yourself, by no longer putting up with less than what you are capable of what your worth is. What is the difference between people with low and high standards? People, who set high standards, feel very good about themselves and other people. They operate from a philosophy of abundance, they recognize that there is enough for everyone and all can win, if they choose to. People with low standards have very little self-respect and believe that all things are limited, so they don’t deserve much.
I was that girl once who had friends with no ambitions, dated a man who was on all accounts was “a scrub” throughout college. I was tired of having the bare minimum in life. I decided I could have it all and I worked and still working to that standard. Once I set a standard for myself, I knew nothing and I mean nothing could lower that. If anything, my standards keep getting higher.
What triggered this article? Let’s back track. I went out to have drinks with an old friend, we”ll call him Alec. I haven’t seen Alec in months, so I was excited to see him and catch up. I updated Alec on all my recent shenanigans. I then proceeded to ask Alec about his life. He told me he had met someone he likes very much. I was excited for him until I started asking questions. You know the typical ones, within 5 minutes of asking questions, I felt sorry for him. He has settled for anything that’ll take him. I asked him what was special about this lady and his answer “she is comfortable, and she just simply says “no worries” to everything”. I was embarrassed for Alec that I had to cut the night short. Alec simply was the type to date anything that will date him. His standards were non existence.
I started questioning myself and asked myself over and over, how could I even be friends with someone with zero standards.
When you have high standards you expect to be treated with the highest of regard and truly believe you deserve the best. Not in a pompous manner but in a way you are so sure of yourself, you know what you bring to the table. Aesthetically, sartorially, mentally, spiritually, intellectually and much more.
We all have moments where we think lowering our standards would lead to happiness or a less lonelier life. Unfortunately, this can lead to a downward spiral. Pretty soon, you’re with and taking on anything that breathes and stands erect.
I hope to God when I found the one (and in all things) when someone asks my partner what is special about me. His answer is more than “she is comfortable” but more “she is THE standard”
So, let’s stop settling in everything. In relationships, jobs, friends, and overall life. I could have settled for a regular job with two kids by now but I chose a life, a calling, something bigger than me. I always tell my employees, “at specsandblazers, we seek perfection, if we can’t attain it, we settle for excellence”. That is the motto of my business and I apply that to all aspects of my life. I’ve been called a tease, or a “bitch” because I don’t tolerate anything less than I deserve and I refuse to waste time explaining myself.
Is it wrong that I think I deserve the absolute best at all times? Do I have an unrealistic expectations? Maybe. Maybe I’ll end up happy. Maybe you’ll wish you didn’t settle. Dont settle. Dont settle. Dont settle. The moment you lower your standards, you’ve given up on yourself. Please keep your standards high.
With Love and Light,
“It is a funny thing about life: If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.” -W. Somerset Maugham