What it takes to let in love…
"This is my favorite dress in the world — it is being handed to me and for some odd reason, at that moment, I declined it."
Hello SB! I wanted to take a moment to share a very humbling teaching moment that I experienced just in time for the Holidays. A quick backstory- earlier this year, I shot a dress for Longchamp through my BPCM family. Of course, you all remember the dress as it is my most requested to shop dress of all time on my feed. It is perhaps the most beautiful, elegant, and graceful dress I’ve ever worn. Needless to say, I got very attached to the dress. However, just looking at the price tag of the dress, I knew it was a loaner and I’d have to return it. I didn’t think I’d ever lay eyes on the dress again because well, although I am finally financially stable, I still can’t afford a dress that fashionable and timeless.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I visited the BPCM office and I was gifted the dress by Sam Fukushima who handles the fashion division at BPCM (along with other beautiful ladies). I stood at their doorstep and refused to receive the dress. I did everything but say “thank you." I made up every excuse for why I couldn’t take it. I didn’t understand why I was doing this. This is my favorite dress in the world — it is being handed to me and for some odd reason, at that moment, I declined it.
Eventually, I reluctantly took it, still without saying “thank you." Then I proceeded to spend the next few days avoiding Sam. I did all this because I was a coward! I didn’t know how to receive the dress. It felt too much of a gift and frankly, I didn’t feel worthy.
"I wore my strength and independence like armor."
Someone once told me “independent and strong women are usually born out of childhood trauma." I’m not sure how factual this statement is. However, I do know in my case it is resoundingly true. I have always been the strong one, the reliable one amongst everyone in my life. I prefer to give and never receive. So much so that in college, my nickname was ‘Miss I got it’ because I’d always pick up everyone’s tab when I was beyond broke. I take pride in having convinced myself at a VERY young age that I don’t need anyone to help me, support me, love me, or compliment me. I wore my strength and independence like armor.
Back to Sam- after a week of dancing this dance with her, I finally reached out to say thank you and explained myself knowing that I owe her an apology. In a true testament to her character, she gave me a kind and loving lecture on why it’s okay to just simply receive the dress. I was shocked that I wasn’t defensive. I thought to myself “if I could receive this conversation she is having with me, why couldn’t have received the dress with the same grace?”
"If you believe you are here to be a servant of the world like I truly believe I am, you also NEED to be a master of receiving."
There IS a privilege and humility in receiving. More importantly, there is power in receiving. What I learned from this conversation with Sam is this; if you believe you are here to be a servant of the world like I truly believe I am, you also NEED to be a master of receiving. Remember, you should only give when you are feeling abundant. Receive, contain then serve from the overflow. There is something beautiful that happens when you receive with intention because the love that comes in when you are grateful for it becomes tenfold.
I hope this article resonates with someone. In 2021, I hope we can all be powerful receivers. I am incredibly grateful to God, Sam, BPCM, and Longchamp for this beautiful dress that I’ll cherish for the rest of my life and eventually pass down to my daughter. More importantly, for a humbling and teachable moment in the ‘art of receiving.’ Shop Longchamp Fall-Winter 2020 dresses HERE. Happy holidays and thank you so much for reading!