The Perfect Fall Dress

Hello!

This is just a quick post. Fall is here!! Who else is as excited as I am? It’s time to send those bright sundresses packing and let your closet take a darker turn.

Despite autumn beginning officially last week, it certainly has not felt like fall. Despite the warm temps, however, I still want to start dressing in fall’s rich hues and warm florals. Enter this dress. It will give you all of the fall feelings without overheating

My favorite part about this dress is the high low skirt. The warm colors of the dress gives it a va-va-voom and the backless deep V is sexy yet classy.

I’m relishing in the few weeks we have left to wear dresses.

Happy Saturday everyone and thank you so much for reading!

:: Outfit ::

Dress :: Cadieux

Bag :: strathberry

Shoes:: Public Desire

 

She was passionate and fearless; a free spirit with a rebellious heart who was unapologetically feminine.

Let’s get personal: Form Beauty.

I’m beyond excited to share this product with you all. Form beauty is truly a lifesaver. I’m not really a hair maintenance sort of person. I tend to wear my big hair and braids and don’t really worry about the middle. However, when I discovered Form Beauty, I had to partner with them.

The majority of women, “73%, don’t know if they are using the right products for their individual hair care needs”. I’m clearly part of this 73%. Form beauty uses a form consultation can be accessed on the website, and it is created to help find the right regimen for the user’s desired hair texture and style. So each product is personalized to your hair texture and needs.

Form Beauty refers to itself as a “prestige hair care collection,” and I couldn’t agree more. I don’t know any other hair product out there with its versatility.

Personally, I’m obsessed with the “Hydrate Conditioner”. It nourishes my very brittle hair. It is Formulated without silicones, this conditioner dramatically increases your hair’s softness and manageability while helping to reduce breakage. It helps with tangling, so I can comb my hair thoroughly before rinsing out.

On my second use, I noticed after it was dry I noticed it looked less frizzy than usual and my curly iron glided through my hair better than they normally do too. This morning my hair feels smoother, looks shinier and actually, it seems to have a bit more movement.

For the first time ever, it seems my hair and I have a great thing going on and I don’t want to mess that, so I’ll be sticking to my Form Beauty regimen for a while.

Take your Form Consultation now and try this product. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

 

The importance of having High Standards

I have lost count of how many times I have been told to lower my standards. I mean on a daily basis. Not just in dating, in life. Let’s start with what is a standard? Standards are things you set for yourself, by no longer putting up with less than what you are capable of what your worth is. What is the difference between people with low and high standards? People, who set high standards, feel very good about themselves and other people. They operate from a philosophy of abundance, they recognize that there is enough for everyone and all can win, if they choose to. People with low standards have very little self-respect and believe that all things are limited, so they don’t deserve much.

I was that girl once who had friends with no ambitions, dated a man who was on all accounts was “a scrub” throughout college. I was tired of having the bare minimum in life. I decided I could have it all and I worked and still working to that standard. Once I set a standard for myself, I knew nothing and I mean nothing could lower that. If anything, my standards keep getting higher.

What triggered this article? Let’s back track. I went out to have drinks with an old friend, we”ll call him Alec. I haven’t seen Alec in months, so I was excited to see him and catch up. I updated Alec on all my recent shenanigans. I then proceeded to ask Alec about his life. He told me he had met someone he likes very much. I was excited for him until I started asking questions. You know the typical ones, within 5 minutes of asking questions, I felt sorry for him. He has settled for anything that’ll take him. I asked him what was special about this lady and his answer “she is comfortable,  and she just simply says “no worries” to everything”. I was embarrassed for Alec that I had to cut the night short. Alec simply was the type to date anything that will date him. His standards were non existence. 

I started questioning myself and asked myself over and over, how could I even be friends with someone with zero standards.

When you have high standards you expect to be treated with the highest of regard and truly believe you deserve the best. Not in a pompous manner but in a way you are so sure of yourself, you know what you bring to the table. Aesthetically, sartorially, mentally, spiritually, intellectually and much more.

We all have moments where we think lowering our standards would lead to happiness or a less lonelier life. Unfortunately, this can lead to a downward spiral. Pretty soon, you’re with and taking on anything that breathes and stands erect.

I hope to God when I found the one (and in all things) when someone asks my partner what is special about me. His answer is more than “she is comfortable” but more “she is THE standard”

So, let’s stop settling in everything. In relationships, jobs, friends, and overall life. I could have settled for a regular job with two kids by now but I chose a life, a calling, something bigger than me. I always tell my employees, “at specsandblazers, we seek perfection, if we can’t attain it, we settle for excellence”. That is the motto of my business and I apply that to all aspects of my life. I’ve been called a tease, or a “bitch” because I don’t tolerate anything less than I deserve and I refuse to waste time explaining myself.

Is it wrong that I think I deserve the absolute best at all times? Do I have an unrealistic expectations? Maybe. Maybe I’ll end up happy. Maybe you’ll wish you didn’t settle. Dont settle. Dont settle. Dont settle. The moment you lower your standards, you’ve given up on yourself. Please keep your standards high.

With Love

Niké

 

“It is a funny thing about life: If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.” -W. Somerset Maugham

#Realbeauty Emmys Recap with Dove

Thank you, Dove, for sponsoring this post. How do you define #RealBeauty?

Hi, Ladies! I was so honored to host and celebrate real Beauty on TVs Biggest Night with Dove. I was never the pretty girl in high school and was bullied severely for it. I did a lot of work on myself to get to the point where I am confident enough to understand my real beauty. The definition of real beauty to me is confidence. So, when Dove reached out to me to participate in this campaign, I was beyond honored. I was happy to celebrate creative women who share diverse stories on television inspire you to love yourself and pioneer your own definition of Real Beauty. I am and will forever be inspired by Issa Rae who looked stunning in a red gown. She is truly the definition of #Realbeauty. I’ve been following her career and her magnanimous smile since “awkward black girl” on YouTube. Her honesty and talent is so inspiring. We also share similar backgrounds, so I can relate to her. She is such a role model and I think it’s imperative that young girls have role models on TV. When girls feel they have a positive role model, they are less likely to let anxiety about looks hold them back.

I was joined by few of my friends to watch the Emmys. We laughed, ate and guessed who the winners were. I loved how inclusive this year’s Emmys were. I literally screamed and cried when I saw the Dove’s Real Beauty Productions commercial with Shonda Rhimes (undoubtedly the most powerful woman on TV and a woman of color). It’s simply amazing that Dove partnered with Shonda Rhimes to put the power of storytelling into the hands of real women. It’s time to see more stories like Diana’s to help expand the definition of beauty for women and girls, who overwhelmingly (7 in 10) cannot relate to depictions seen across film, TV and media today. In addition, together with Shonda and a 100% female crew, Dove continues to celebrate inclusive, diverse and real beauty in front and behind the camera.

Overall, it was a beautiful night with lots of laugh and optimism in television. I encourage you to watch Diana’s story here. Link Below:

http://clvr.li/2xuPr12

Also, learn more about Dove’s Campaign here:  http://clvr.li/2qp9Qjg

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of CLEVER and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

REGAL WITH FASCINATING DIAMONDS

Diamonds are forever, they are all I need to please me…….. (Name the song).

There is something quite regal and elegant about diamonds and I find myself attracted to it every time although I never thought I’ll own one myself anytime soon. However, with now hosting more events, I knew it was time to invest in some simple yet elegant pieces. So, I reached out to the lovely ladies at Fascinating diamonds for a collaboration.

Fascinating Diamonds a customized online diamond jewelry store in New York. I know, at first the words diamond and online together in a sentence sent me straight into skepticism, However, I did my research and saw that they had a great BBB and Google rating and a physical store front in New York’s Diamond District, that gave me more confidence in them. What made me took a leap of faith was knowing they can customize my jewelry for me to my taste.

I wanted simple yet elegant earrings and matching necklace. So, I went with the Curved Graduated Diamond Necklace and the Pear Shaped Stud Drop Earrings. I was amazed when I opened the boxes because the packaging was just stunning! The pricing was great compared to similar designs and stones at the major retailers and they expedite my shipping so I received my items rather quickly.

I styled them with a beautiful red dress. They complemented my style and aesthetic impeccably. Check out their site for an array of engagement rings, necklaces, braces and pleasant customer service.

https://www.fascinatingdiamonds.com

4 TIPS ON HOW TO OVERCOME SOCIAL MEDIA ANXIETY AND STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS.

Today, we are discussing the social media curse. Comparing ourselves to others on social media. I’m beyond guilty of this. We all do it but I think it’s even more prevalent amongst influencers. There is this notion when you log in that everyone else doesn’t have any life issues but somehow you do. That “they” all live such a perfect life. We all know this not to be true but somehow that logic goes out of the window the moment we log into social media. The truth is we are humans, we all have issues and feelings. We have ebbs and flows. We have off days, weeks or even months and sometimes a whole year. I went through a point in my life last year where social media coupled with my blog sent me into a dark place of sadness. When I came out of it, I made a promise to myself to never ever go through that again. So, how did I get to a point where I was able to lessen my social media anxiety? I’ll share 4 tips I’ve learned in the past year that has helped me a lot. Hopefully, this can help anyone going through that.

Nothing is real. The reality is, people are mostly showcasing the best aspects of their life onto social media. Especially as influencers, we are literally paid to showcase an embellished version of our lives. We emphasize the best versions of ourselves instead of the real versions. Simply because I know this for a fact, as soon as I feel myself spiraling on someone else’s page and their “perfect lives”, I take a moment to say “remember, this isn’t real”. Your real life is waiting for you outside social media.

Reduce your time on social media. This one is so difficult for me since social media is literally what I do for a living. However, I’ve learned to give myself a 2 hours time out once a day. 2 hours out of each day, I tell myself, I cannot and will not log into social media. This allows me to be present in my real life and practice mindfulness. With mindfulness comes discernment. When you direct your attention toward the real world, you have less time and energy to direct toward meaningless activities such as social comparisons.

Especially avoid looking at profiles of people who trigger thoughts of comparison. You have nothing to gain in doing so besides anxiety and sadness. There are few girls on my feed with such a “perfect” life and much younger than me. Going on their page causes me such anxiety. I’ve never been a jealous person but I’m also human. Of course, I won’t do something as drastic as unfollowing or blocking them (trust me, a girl did this to me because she thought my life was better than hers and she had to “protect her energy”) but I do tend to avoid their profiles and simply focus on mine.

Self Awareness. Ultimately, you need to take responsibility for your feelings. Assess where those negative comparisons are stemming from and try to figure out why you are having these feelings. Maybe try to develop some self-confidence and self-worth. Personally, each time I make an unfair comparison and start berating myself, I try to view it as an opportunity for a little self-evaluating.

I hope I’m not coming off as demonizing social media since it’s what I do for a living but It’s super easy to go down the social media rabbit hole of friends, family, exes, and friends of friends of friends, all doing sparkly things with beautiful people, and in turn feel like your life doesn’t shine quite as brightly as you thought. Put a leash on your inner snoop and go outside and mingle with the real world. Hope this helps.

Niké

 

 

RUSSIANS HACKED MY INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT AND HOW I GOT IT BACK.

 

Let’s skip the pleasantries as it felt like death and I’m still discombobulated. I remember when people use to say “being famous on Instagram, is like having monopoly money”. Well, we all know that saying has been debunked as some of us and myself included does it full time. When I first started blogging full time, I used to be so embarrassed to say “I’m an influencer”. It took me a while and a lot of soul searching to get to the point where I’m comfortable in my own skin to get to the point I’m proud of my job. Because there is a lot to be proud of. You don’t get to work and sacrifice as much as I have and not be proud.

I think what people do not realize is that bloggers put hours and hours into each blog post and IG post. We pay photographers to take the photos, we pay social media assistants to help amplify the posts, and we work hard to integrate sponsorships into our usual content in a way that is authentic and natural. In fact, it costs me so much money…and time.

I have sacrificed so much to get to where I am at, so to watch my pictures deleted one by one and my account sold 2 days after hitting 100k literally felt like death. I sat on my floor for 4 days and cried and cried and cried. Unfortunately, Instagram doesn’t have customer service or even a form to fill out for help. After having a heart attack and going to the hospital. I came back home and thought to myself, I’ve fought my whole life and I just have to fight even harder. So, here are the few things I learned during this past week:

. Persistence works! My lovely hacker actually removed my Facebook, email, phone number and everything in between. After a mini-heart attack and a hospital visit. I started emailing everyone. Unfortunately, Instagram doesn’t have emails or forms, so we were just grasping at any email we could think of. Eventually, I started googling articles. I read every single article on google. From page 1-page 10. Refreshed and started over. Eventually, I ran into an article from a guy who lost his account at 300k and after a month of trying to get it back, he eventually went on Linkedin and typed in “Instagram” and started emailing every single one of their employees. This might sound insane and dramatic but “squeaky wheel gets the grease”.

.Determination is your best friend. When everyone was telling me “you’ll get over it”, “you can start over”. I refused to start over. I called my Mother crying & screaming and she said: “You are a fighter, you don’t just give up, you get in your car and drive to their headquarters”. I not only wrote everyone on Linkedin. I also collected all their employee names including interns and wrote long and obnoxious paragraphs under all their pictures. Do now, apologize later.

.Two-factor authentication does not work. As a matter of fact, that’s how I got hacked. It’s called a hack because these people are brilliant and they are unfortunately smarter than you are. However, there are other ways to reduce your chances of getting hacked. use a very long and complicated password. Do the code backup option on your settings. I kept 5 different codes. So, it; ll literally take James Bond to break into my account again.

.Have a balanced life. As you all know, in everything that happens to me in life, I always seek the lesson in it. The lesson for me is that I really need to slow down. I’m such a workaholic and, truly I am addicted to working. I was pushing out content when I was hospitalized for exhaustion and dehydration. I don’t believe in rest or breaks. I’ve always said, “I can sleep when I die”. However, with the new success of the blog, it got worse. All I do is work. I don’t date, don’t go out, don’t have any hobbies. When I had my mini heart attack at 29 and the doctors told my friends to take me to go do my favorite activities. Both my friends (photographers) looked at the doctor and said: “she doesn’t have hobbies, her only hobby is working”. In that moment, I thought “Oh crap! If I make it out of this alive, I need to try to date and meet new friends and eventually maybe start dating again. (This makes me sound so pathetic).

.Be vigilant! Exercise caution if you encounter any suspicious activity such as unrecognized incoming calls, texts, and emails. In many cases of Instagram that was hacked this weekend, it was simply because of an email “phishing” that looks very real but the I is swapped for an L. Unfortunately, it’s easy to miss when they are all in small letters. So, open the email address and ask the second eye to help you look closely.

Thank you to the team at Instagram for working diligently to get my account and username back.

I won’t wish this on my worst enemy. Hope this article helps! Thank you to everyone who reached out and fought with me to get my account back. To all the brands who stayed patient through it all, thank you. My deepest gratitude. Have a blessed evening.

Niké

Summer Trend: LACE

Hi! It has been a rough few days with my Instagram hacked and hell to get back. I still haven’t got my username back but hoping for the best. I’ll be writing a post on how to keep your social media accounts safe.

In the mean time, I love this sky-blue lace dress. I’ve always been a fan of lace dresses. The lace dress is always a mixture of sophistication and femininity and a shift version is versatile enough to be dressed up or down, chic or casual.

A lacy bodice can be worn day or night. This gorgeous sky blue dress is from JUSTONEANSWER. Paired simply with pumps and a white clutch, this outfit is perfect for any summer occasion.

 

Dress: Just One Answer, Heels: Louboutin

 

STAYCATION: CULVER HOTEL

 

H, Guys! Coming off the high of my feature in people magazine-stylwatch (On stands now). I decided to spend some time with my team at the culver hotel. I was so happy to spend time and stay at the Culver Hotel simply because there is no other hotel I’ve ever visited that matches my aesthetic to perfection. You guys know that my style is loosely inspired by Old Hollywood. It was my first time visiting and it was as if I stepped into another world- from the elegance of the architecture to the antique decor. I love that classic meets contemporary and history meets modern luxury. The vintage glamour of Culver hotel with its dash of European ambiance is simply romance at it’s finest.

We decided to make a whole photo-shoot out of it and did a Marilyn Monroe inspired shoot. The staff and the hotel were impeccable. Competent, courteous, friendly and helpful. Bedroom and amenities were simply fabulous. It’s also pretty convenient to go to anywhere, you can walk to Trader Joes and coffee shops in the neighborhood. If you get tired of dining in their very own restaurant, you can walk to other restaurants literally across the street.

The restaurant downstairs has live jazz after 7 pm. The food is delicious and fresh.

Let’s just say it was very difficult for me to leave. I cannot say enough good things about the staff not to mention the beautiful property and the ambiance. What a lovely stay and can’t wait to come back again.

The Ultimate Summer Date Night Guide – What To Wear.

Hi, Ladies! Summer dates are the best dates if you still believe in dating or what not. I don’t remember the last time I dated but when I used to date, I loved getting dress up for a fun night especially during summer season. The fabulous thing about summer dating is that it doesn’t have to last. (I’m kidding). You can sit outside to enjoy your date and stop for ice cream on your stroll home, stay out a little later than you would normally because it’s still light out. But dressing for summer dates in Los Angeles can be another story. It gets somewhat chilly at night. So, the trick is to pick something sweat proof and perhaps add a layer at night. Here are 5 ways to have your date staring at your outfit all night.

1. A lingerie-inspired slip dress is perfect for hot summer nights. Thank God we can wear our lingerie out now. When you were growing up, your mom probably told you to make sure that your slip doesn’t show. Find a beautiful midi slip dress and throw a leather jacket on top.


2. Slip on some bold sandals. You know what they say, the higher the heels……


3. For Fickle weather, start with a crop top and midi-skirt as your base layer, then throw on a moto jacket in case the temperatures start to dip.
4. For dipping on the dance floor, style a slightly sheer shirt with a fitting skinny jeans and pumps for a well-balanced ensemble.


5. To give your date night outfit romantic finishes, style a lace dress like mine. With this particular outfit, I’ll bring a vintage-wash denim jacket to add just the right touch of laid-back style to this ultra-feminine, pink lace dress. Worn with nude So-Kate pumps to elongate the look of my legs. You could also wear this outfit easily for brunch, coffee or a casual dinner just switch out the shoes with nude wedges.

Have a great rest week and thank you so much for reading!
:: Outfit ::
Dress :: Elliatt
Shoes :: Christian Louboutin
Accessories :: Strathberry Bag.

Niké