Hello everyone! Another day, another article. God, it has been a rough and tough week and as things are starting to settle down, In the spirit that I’ve always been very open with you thus far, I decided that I needed to open up about this, so whoever is going through a tough time could find someone they could relate to. Earlier this week, riding high from scoring my Adidas deal which I’m still pinching myself over. I finally was able to shoot with my dream photographer. It was an amazing shoot. I walked out with complete euphoria. Well I looked to my left and right my car and realized my car was gone. At first, I was sure it was simply towed. Perhaps, I parked in the wrong place. After calling every number you could, we deduced my car was stolen. I was gutted. I thought, “of course, this is the story of my life”. Anytime and I mean anytime things seem to be going seamlessly, the other shoe drops and I feel like I take 10 steps back. Life eh? I was at the police station the next day getting through all the pertinent paperwork when I realized Alexandre had broken his leg and won’t be walking for a long while. Of course, my first thought was to run to his bedside but in the midst of that, I also realized I’ll have to take care of him, I’ll have to abandon my work to take care of someone else. God, I sat on the corner of the street and cried for about 2 hours. In the days since this God-awful day, I’ve certainly been able to get myself to a better headspace. I truly appreciate everyone who reached out and let me vent. My #SBfamily, you are truly amazing. So, here are 4 ways I was able to get to where I am at now.
1. Acknowledge and talk it out – I have been through so much in my life but my God, my strength is my greatest gift. It’s totally okay to be afraid, to be paralyzed by trauma that whatever you do, don’t let it overwhelm you. As tough as my exterior is, I am a firm believer in crying. Oooh, I love a good cry, honey! I allowed myself few days to be angry at the universe. To be angry at Alexandre, to be angry at God. I yelled I screamed, I threw a plethora of temper tantrums. I thought of all our summer plans that are now canceled. I yelled, “I don’t want to be strong anymore”. I allowed myself to be selfish. I shared every step with my followers on Instagram and my God, your support was so uplifting.
2. Self-care! Self-Care! Self-Care! – If you need to have a few bad days, that’s totally okay. What’s not okay is staying in those bad days. We have a choice and will and that’s what makes human beings so exceptional. Ask yourself, “okay, what is the lesson here?” Personally, I believe every time something this earth-shattering happens to me, it’s the universe telling me to take a break. I hate slowing down and it always takes something to literally slap me in the face to get me to rest. You all know my motto is “I can sleep when I die”. Take off your victim hat and put on your self-love fabulous one. Days after all the bad news, I enrolled in yoga classes. Now, I HATE yoga but my god, I needed something to distract me from all of this. Any form of exercise is so important during a hard time. We all know that when you physically move, your physiology changes and that releases endorphins that changes your thinking. Getting your heart rate up, going outside every single day helps create a momentum.
3. Take Action. Mindset is half of the battle. – Set a goal everyday! What I did was set one thing I had to accomplish a day. It could be as simple as walking to the library to read for an hour or even “call Mom”. The worst thing you could do is curl up and throw in the towel. Setting goals helps you push through the difficult times because you have something to look forward to. The worst thing you can do is sit in that darkness. Finding out my insurance won’t cover me getting a new car was painful. So, I wrote down the Pros and Cons of getting a new car immediately. The Cons far outweighed the pros. Simply because, I’ll be traveling a lot and buying a car that is just going to sit in my garage seemed foolish. You have to get a momentum going. Always think “what’s next?” and then after that “What’s next”?. Ok, No car. No car for at least a year. No traveling partner for the summer. That’s reality. So, what’s next? Learn how to navigate my way around town with an Uber, start saving up for my Porsche 911 and buy a single ticket for myself to New Orleans. I googled “how to take care of a man with a broken leg”. lol. I prepared myself for him to push and pull at me (and he has done exactly that). I prepared myself for him to be depressed about this. He is a workaholic, so this is literally like him dying. I knew this would be a test of a lifetime and realities of relationship and partnership.
4. Gratitude – Remember “This too shall pass”. I actually have that tatted on me. Keep Perspective. It’s so easy to lash out at people who are trying to help you and feel sorry for yourself. However, having a heart of gratitude is so important. People have always thought my positivity is “fake” but my heart of gratitude has gotten me through the roughest times in my life. I have a plethora of good things going on in my life that this is just a bump in the road. Remember the times life was better and count your blessings no matter how hard it is because there would be more good times in the future. No matter what I am going through, I know it sounds flippant but I always say “there are children literally starving”, so in the grand scheme of things my situation isn’t that bad. Remember, you learn more on your bad days than your good ones. So, that in itself is a blessing.
I hope this helps! Remember, don’t let the distractions distract you. I’ve always said, the only way you can stop me directly in my tracks is to attack my work. As long as I have my work, everything else seems trivial. It’s easy to see catastrophe everywhere you look and to think there is no way out of the mess you are currently in but trust me it’s going to get better. I promise you “This too shall pass”. The nature of life is dual which means nothing is permanent. Press through the desire to give up and be determined to not give up. Life is hard and God puts his toughest soldiers through the hardest times. Life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us. Find the positive in every situation and fight your way back into the light one inch at a time. I believe in you and I hope you always believe in yourself. Hope your hearts can breathe. Love you all and stay fabulous.